I think it’s time I share what’s going on. Since I got out of the hospital in July I’ve been scared of the dark. For the record, I’ve never been scared of the dark. I was always that kid with a flashlight and a book. So my stepmom encouraged me to write things down because there was so much bubbling in my spirit. Hence the posts I’ve put out. I usually get a temporary quieting in my soul but then the bubbles come back . But at night I realized I wasn’t sleeping nor resting properly. I’d wake up with high blood pressure, low blood sugar and a palpating heart. I was/am having night terrors. Nightmares are bad dreams; night terrors are things you see in the dark and I’m pretty sure you’re awake. My sister pointed out that this started when I started posting and this is spiritual warfare. My first thought was “ok, I’ll just stop posting “. If you know me, you know I don’t fight nor compete. But them bubbles, they went from a simmer to a boil. I actually feel compelled to write these things down for someone else to see. I become desperate to get to church on Sunday and every single Saturday night I get struck with some kind of painful acute condition. I’ve never seen myself as threatening, but clearly someone does. So I rock in pain, shed tired tears and pray. I put The Word on the terrors (Psalms 91:5 & 2 Timothy 1:7), and find old spirituals that feed my soul.
Pray for me y’all, I’m tired.
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