Month: April 2017

Song: Still in Control by Kirk Franklin

I don’t know about some of you, but I struggle with my faith. So during the week I listen to sermons via podcast. This week I heard something that lit up the whole lighthouse; “the devil is in the details, because details derail your faith”. Never a truer word was spoken.
I like to make analogies for how I feel and what I think so others might relate. So I liken my faith struggles to a tantrum. The first hit of bad news or a trying situation, I’m usually good. I acknowledge that God is in control and nothing catches Him by surprise. But, as the details of this situation becomes clearer or other situations decide this would be a good time to join the bandwagon, I can feel a tantrum building. Literally. I get a tingle at the base of my spine as my back prepares to slip and bow. My feet start thinking of what beat they want to tap out as I flail out the unfairness of my life and why has God forsaken me and boo who and whaa! For real, the whole process.
I’ll confess that I’m getting better, I’m catching myself right at that first tingle now, but it was a rough trip.
Sometimes God gives you a vision but it’s usually the end result. The how you’re going to get there and what you’re going to go through seems to be missing from the revelation. I wonder if Joseph would have been as excited about his dream if God had shown him the details. Or if David would have been as accepting if God would have told him he might feel a bit bipolar at times, specifically during the writing of Psalms.
My point is nothing is a surprise to God. He is already at where we are trying to get to. So the major snags in my life, where my faith is the strongest are just as important but not more important than the barrage of minor situations that truly test what I believe. I constantly have to remind that God stays in control and He’s for me.
He’s got you too

Have you ever noticed that the thing you observe in others, that makes you shake your head, is the very thing You do??
Just take a minute, I’ll wait.
Ok, this is my confession (no chicks on the side🎼).
I’ve often read the Bible and shook my head at the Israelites. They were God’s chosen people (uh huh), they were blessed coming and going (ahhh), no weapon formed against them prospered (yas!). Please excuse me, my church upbringing just reared up. But despite all the second (3rd, 4th, etc) chances, they were still ungrateful. Y’all remember when they cried hungry and got manna from heaven? (Exodus 16) They ate and then complained that it wasn’t what they wanted, they meant meat. They complained about that too, never satisfied.
We read this and break into song about “How Great is our God”, but forget, we act just like them sometimes….
And here is the insertion of myself.
If you know me or st least know of me, you know these last ten years are full of stories about God’s grace, mercy, sustaining power and endurance. If you’ve seen me in the hospital, perhaps you left in awe and reaffirmed of God’s love….And that’s all good and dandy for you.
Here’s my take: I often feel like a disappointed kid at Christmas. I asked for a bike but I got school clothes for the next semester because I’ve grown a bit.
I’ll be honest, I’ve asked God to come on and take me home. I’m tired of being sick and in pain all the time and tired of trying to figure who’s safe enough to reveal how I’m really feeling. So, yes, I might have pitched a fit when my eyes keep opening on this side of glory.
But…those new mercies every morning?
I get those too. I get a glimpse of how I was feeling or how I acted yesterday when I feel new strength to handle it today. I get the chance to repent for my ungrateful attitude and to ask for His Will for my life today. Still being honest here, some stretches of time are longer or shorter than others, but all give me a time to remember the goodness of God and remember He knows His plans for me, even when I don’t.
So I go into this Easter Sunday repenting for my ungrateful and bitter heart. I go apologizing for feeling as if I know what’s best for me and ultimately not trusting Him.
Most importantly, I celebrate Easter with a grateful heart, because without Calvary, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this