Song: I’ll Trust You by Richard Smallwood
I will start by saying I tend to straddle the fence a lot. I’m a professed gray area person and I’m comfortable there. I have a severe case of me, my four/five and a couple more and no more. I’m very clannish and I recognize this.
I fully believe Black Lives Matter, but I’m not one to automatically jump on the all police are evil train either. I’ve had relatives and friends who were and are police officers and I’ve had relatives and friends who were and are military, so there is no obvious side for me to be on.
Because I tend to be apathetic about my own life, I suffer from a certain sense of detachment when hearing about certain situations….God and I are working on that.
But, it was just the other day that I realized how much I’ve internalized all that’s happening in the nation. I stay in constant prayer for my small groups and branch out towards everyone else. I pray especially for this generation because they are not even 3 whole generations away from slavery and are prone to feel like those lessons don’t apply to them…and they don’t or didn’t until the basic fabric of moral decency started unraveling.
So, on my way to my appointment yesterday, I took the street because the freeway was not moving. I vaguely remembered some back streets my sister showed me and took one. I went as far as it went and was heading back towards the main street when I stopped at a light. I’m singing with my radio and glance in the rear view mirror. There was a police car behind me. Normally that wouldn’t concern me, but the speed of the things and questions going through my mind was astounding.
My car is not even a year old, so no outward problems.
Shoot, I meant to put my registration and insurance in my sun visor to avoid the glove box.
I’m at a red light, so there’s no speed involved.
Did my family know how much I loved them and would they remember where my papers are?
And so on and so on. Seems a little extreme doesn’t it? But this was real to me, heart palpitations and all. They made a right turn before I even got past the light, but I was shocked into a new level of awareness.
I don’t want to be so heaven minded that I’m no earthly good.