Today I had the BLUES!! No obvious reason and no motivation to figure it out. This heat is disrespectful and it dawned on me that it’s my first summer in a couple of years that I’ve experienced it. See, I’ve always been hospitalized almost from start to finish of summer. Humph.
I decided not to investigate my melancholy but rather wallow in it. I don’t know how comfortable pigs in mud really are, but I was most uncomfortable. I listen to music all the time, but today the lyrics just weren’t reaching me, how strange. I sent my sister a text quickly explaining how I was feeling and asked her not to call or worry. Didn’t know what was going on but I knew enough to know that this wasn’t a touch and agree situation. I also knew she would pray if she couldn’t participate.
I’ve gotten to the tediousness of book writing; editing and formatting 😣. I have plenty to keep me busy, but this busy doesn’t look like what I’m used to busy looking like so I feel stagnant and useless and very much like a loser. Half a box of sugar free popsicles later I turned on my podcasts. Two podcasts later I’ve finished formatting and have started three posts in my phone. It’s now dinner time and this is the result:
What did you do? Not today, but in general? When we get before God, that is what He’s going to ask. As a husband, what did you do with the family He gave you? As a mother, what did you do with the children He gave you? Simply as a person, what did you do with the talents, gifts, resources He gave you? I’ll be honest, today I was digging in the dirt to bury my talent because I struggle with significance and grace. That’s my group text for the week, finding and understanding both.
When I see Jesus…(Amen)…sorry Song Tourette moment. But really when I get asked, “What did you do with the testimony and gift of expression I gave you”? I think I’ll actually have an answer 💖
Thank you God
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