Have you ever felt like something like a rain cloud has settled over you? You feel like Pigpen from Charlie Brown with his everpresent cloud of dirt around him. Maybe your cloud is sadness or anger; perhaps it’s the feeling of inadequacy or scarcity. Whatever it is, it causes a boost in your behavior towards alleviating the feeling. How’d that work out for you? I bet whatever your coping mechanism is it made something else worse because your never attacked the root cause.
Lately I’ve been plagued with this feeling of scarcity; like I’m constantly running out of things I need. Now, I won’t deny that some things I’m working on require more resources than I currently own, but I don’t Need them right now. If scarcity were to settle like a cloak all by itself I wouldn’t have that big of a problem with it. Unfortunately, it tends to bring friends like anxiety, panic and fear; nice group huh? So I’m snacking like I’m not already reaching for the bigger sizes in my closet. Even as I munch I know I’m just avoiding what’s really bothering me, but it gives me the illusion that I have things under control. The only thing I’m controlling is how many extra calories I have to figure out how to work off later…at some far distant date. Perhaps you have a little niggling feeling that blooms quickly into something akin to a panic attack before you can pinpoint why you’re upset.
I’m not quite the rubber duckie I’m hoping to be yet, you know, where everything rolls right off of me and I keep smiling with my Colgate white teeth; but I am in the process of continual transformation. I’m learning to recognize unwanted feelings and attitudes more quickly now and with that comes the ability to fight back with my new arsenal of tools:
- 1. Acknowledgement: If I can pinpoint exactly what has me bothered I can forego dancing around it and fight back directly.
- 2. Relevance: Am I dealing with a current and present problem? Is it something from the past or has it even happened yet? Staying in the presence of the present eliminates a lot of worry.
- 3.Posession: Is the problem even mines’ to worry about? Have I snuck under someone else’s cloud and am now being drenched? FIghting my own battles first let’s me take account of how much energy I have to help someone else.
My cloak of scarcity had to go because I realize that it was covering the fact that I’m getting more anxious the closer I get to publishing my book for the public to see. Hence the snacks. Although the project is current, the issues of money, reception and opinions aren’t things I can control, nor are they something I hve to deal with right this moment. While it is my own personal problem that I can’t do anything about right now, helping a friend with her issue was something I could do. So I did. Redirection of my energy and thoughts allowed me to take that deep breath that was struggling to come out.
- Let me not forget my scriptural arsenal as well:
- Phillipians 4:19, My God shall supply All my needs according to His riches in Glory.
- Ephesians 3:20, Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I can ask or think
- Psalms 34:10b, But those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Shake the dust off of yourself by fortifying your mind and heart with promises your situations can’t stand up to.