Yesterday God told me to do something and I told Him no. I’ll wait while the collective
gasps expel, the metaphorical pearls get clutched and all the tongues cluck as I get condemned to hell. Now to continue 🙂
It wasn’t something hard or unreasonable, but it made me Very uncomfortable. I was told to have a conversation with someone. That’s it, no givning my last donut buying dollar away or signing up for a mission across the world, it was simply talk to someone…and I said no. Thankfully my God knows me, so He paused as I poured out how completely unqualified I was for the task and He waited till I said ok. Unsurprisingly, the conversation went well. The words were spiritually and syntactically well placed to be received and both parties left feeling thoughtful and fulfilled. I personally felt humbled that the God of the universe chose to use me out of all the other qualified people (in my perception) and blessed that I could at least plant a seed that may grow into a plant of righteousness somehwere down in the future. That happens a lot you know; when I obey or follow the instructions given to me none of the gloomy endings ever happen. 1 Samuel 15:22, in essence says obedience is better than sacrifice; it’s true. God would rather I have had that conversation than to tack on an extra percentage to my tithe for the month. I’m in a season of getting a deeper understanding of words I’ve heard my entire life, words like grace and righteousness, obedience and honor. Deep words that are all verbs, but no one ever told me what they look like and how to exhibit them. I’m so glad I’m learning now because understanding them is changing the landscape of how I see and relate to God.
I feel comfortable telling God “No” because I know He loves me. I no longer shiver in fear that I’m going to get struck down because I missed a step in whatever ritual I forgot to perform at the right time. My God is such a good Papa that he knows my “No” isn’t an act of defiance, but rather a revelation of how unworthy I’m feeling, still. Do you know your children well enough to distinguish the tone, intent and hidden feelings in their words and actions? Do you know God knows you so well that He knows you better than you know yourself?
Talk to Him, talk with Him and don’t forget to listen; you would be surprised how engaging those conversations can be.
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