Tag: Joy

 

Song: I Am God by Donald Lawrence and Tri City Singers

Have you ever wondered why the burden of proof of the existence of God falls on the believer? I’ll admit I used to get flustered when asked, but no longer.
I don’t have to prove anything because it’s all in your perspective about what you see. What are you looking for?
Whenever I get a new car I immediately start seeing it everywhere. The question becomes; were they always there and I didn’t notice or did my car send out some kind of Nissan bat signal? The answer…both. As I snuggle deeper into the appreciation of my car I began to look for characteristics that are significant to Nissan. Then I began to notice other types of cars in the brand family. The existence of God works about the same way. When you have not yet accepted Christ all you are able to do is see the pain and destruction caused by what seems like His absence. It’s almost like having a cataract removed: the view becomes clearer and you notice that He was never absent, you just didn’t notice Him. Where you once saw hatred you now see that flicker of love that refuses to be extinguished. Where there was once sickness and pain you see His sustaining power allowing that person to hold on despite everything. The presence of hurt and bitterness becomes times of reflection and healing allowing you to move on away from that dark place in time. Insecurities and fear are fertile grounds to find inner strength and peace, making you feel like you can conquer the world once you get past this situation.
I don’t have to prove God exists because He proves Himself time and time again. I dare you to give me situation that troubles you and I will show you God’s presence in the midst.
Isaiah 55:6 Seek Him while He may be found.

Song:Seasons Change by Bishop Paul S. Morton

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
It’s supposedly Fall and with that comes Pumpkins!…I personally don’t care for pumpkins, but that’s neither here nor there. There are pumpkins everywhere; in pies, breads, drinks,etc. I noticed it only shows up around October though. I haven’t seen and no one is looking for pumpkins in April or June….Now for my point.
I have a habit of try to keep things and people beyond their expiration date. When it goes bad, as it should, I find myself wanting to do a prayer sound check with God….Something like, “Testing 1,2, testing..can you hear me God? Testing “.
Saw an ex-boyfriend of mine the other day and went home to worship. I kept him Way beyond his usefulness. And just like dying produce or meat, the relationship began to fester and stink and produce illnesses in my spirit, heart and mind. When it was completely over I had to detox my body, refresh my spirit and reprogram my mind because I had been poisoned.
Perhaps like me you have issues sharing and letting go. This applies to people, things, places and schnacks. As I go through my daily devotions and prayer time I’ve found that all my issues come back to my square one; trust.
I’m so glad God is long suffering, because each situation I get into requires me to answer the same question every time…do you trust me?
Honestly, sometimes I get it right and I do an imaginary handstand (I’ve never been able to do one for real) and sometimes I get it stubbornly wrong, as I stomp my feet, pout my lips and declare that I’m right and what’s being asked of me is too much. Yes, yes I am fully aware of
1 Corinthians 10:13, but this is about how I feel not what I know.
I’ve realized Time is so important to God that it’s one of His top gifts to us, right alongside Salvation, Grace and Mercy. But I learned this Sunday that my impatience with His timing is all tied up in my faith and of course, my trust in Him…(just can’t seem to get away from that).
I stay in prayer for His patience with me, His help with my unbelief and His strength with my issues. I feel like I’m being given bites that are to big to swallow, but He always reminds me that I know how to chew and digest everything I’ve been given before and that I have yet to choke.

Song: I’ll Trust You by Richard Smallwood

I will start by saying I tend to straddle the fence a lot. I’m a professed gray area person and I’m comfortable there. I have a severe case of me, my four/five and a couple more and no more. I’m very clannish and I recognize this.
I fully believe Black Lives Matter, but I’m not one to automatically jump on the all police are evil train either. I’ve had relatives and friends who were and are police officers and I’ve had relatives and friends who were and are military, so there is no obvious side for me to be on.
Because I tend to be apathetic about my own life, I suffer from a certain sense of detachment when hearing about certain situations….God and I are working on that.
But, it was just the other day that I realized how much I’ve internalized all that’s happening in the nation. I stay in constant prayer for my small groups and branch out towards everyone else. I pray especially for this generation because they are not even 3 whole generations away from slavery and are prone to feel like those lessons don’t apply to them…and they don’t or didn’t until the basic fabric of moral decency started unraveling.
So, on my way to my appointment yesterday, I took the street because the freeway was not moving. I vaguely remembered some back streets my sister showed me and took one. I went as far as it went and was heading back towards the main street when I stopped at a light. I’m singing with my radio and glance in the rear view mirror. There was a police car behind me. Normally that wouldn’t concern me, but the speed of the things and questions going through my mind was astounding.
My car is not even a year old, so no outward problems.
Shoot, I meant to put my registration and insurance in my sun visor to avoid the glove box.
I’m at a red light, so there’s no speed involved.
Did my family know how much I loved them and would they remember where my papers are?
And so on and so on. Seems a little extreme doesn’t it? But this was real to me, heart palpitations and all. They made a right turn before I even got past the light, but I was shocked into a new level of awareness.
I don’t want to be so heaven minded that I’m no earthly good.

Song: Reflection by Anita Wilson

You’re probably thinking duck, but I don’t eat duck and believe it or not this has nothing to do with food. The title is a mental game I play with myself. I might have mentioned that I’m partially deaf, so a lot of what I “hear” is visually and contextually gleaned. I’ve gotten pretty good at this over the years and it’s always something I do to avoid drawing attention to myself……So…..
As the world appears to be losing all semblance of sense, in any form, I noticed that the word Christian is being bandied about. I read something so extra wow that I got my bible out and did a bit of research to make sure I wasn’t going completely nuts. So here it is; if a person does one big gesture that fits into the mold of how a “Christian” should act or feel, then they are considered Saved or Delivered. Despite all previous, current on going and verbal disparities. I’ve admitted before that I struggle with reconciling what I was taught and what seems true today, but come on.
Let me start by saying gifts and fruits of the spirit are different; and while I believe you can have or demonstrate both, I also believe you can exhibit a gift with zero fruit bearing. Analogies are how I make sense of the world, so this is what I came up with…..no one goes to an apple orchard looking at the ground for pretty wrapped boxes. The same applies to Christmas, no one goes to pick out a tree combing the branches for an apple. May I ask why do we treat people that way?
I once had someone tell me I wasn’t going to heaven because I didn’t speak in tongues. They caught me on a bad day because I told them that we’ll probably be going to hell together because the man she was sexing was not her husband, and she did have one. (Total tangent)
My point is I’d personally rather exhibit the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) because that is a sign of the presence of God, gifts (Romans 12:6-8)!are without repentance (Romans 11:29), meaning, you can use what you were born with having never to acknowledge God for it. Still trying to figure out my gift, but so thankful for the processes that manifest my fruit.

Song: How Awesome is Our God by Israel Houghton

2 months post transplant….
I wanted to post over the last week, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have, or couldn’t see the turning point for my story. God said post anyway, I said no.
With all the problems going on around the country and the world right now my myopic view of my problems seemed to reek of egocentrism. But it’s the reality I face daily, so here we go.
I go to the clinic every week and each time something is wrong or off. As I prepare for my second surgery since July 5th, I keep having reminiscent feelings of my first round with kidney disease, it was not pretty….still not sure who won. I keep getting cut open before the last cut has fully healed and now I’ve got new pain over old throbbing pain and I ain’t feeling none of it. A week or so ago someone asked me how I was, I gave my PC by rote answer “fine”. I give this answer to anyone and everyone that speaks to me. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to go through my current mental list to see who’s safe to reveal the real me to. It’s not a lie, but I got more layers than a yellow onion. So the person asked me how was my heart…almost automatically I started to respond “fine”, but my head said wait, this is a new and different question. I did a quick inventory and surprised myself with what I saw….
I might have mentioned that I tango regularly with a rebellious spirit, but did I mention it’s a line dance with his homies?? So even when I disentangle myself from rebellion, I quickly find myself dancing with bitterness, envy, frustration and little man, anger. These guys are just the appetizers for my Big Poppa, Apathy.
It’s all creeping up on me so slowly that I almost missed the signs. I cry, I pray, I plead and then I start shutting down. By this past weekend I was done posting and sharing, I was done pushing through and I was completely over people. Any of them, my family included.
You ever have those moments where you are done with God but He’s not done with you? I go to my appointment yesterday fully prepared for whatever is said, I’m planning my breakfast, lunch and a pint of sherbet and emotionally I’m chilled. My nurse asked me, “how was church yesterday”? Inside I’m thinking, I either have an approachable face or I’m not scowling correctly. We get to my examine room and there’s another nurse there to help her. She then asks, “what was the sermon about”? I tell her and as I’m speaking I remember not only the notes I took but the thoughts I had as well.
(That’s impressive for me, my memory is as big as a gnat 😅) They both said they were gonna go research the topic and find out more…..wow.
My appointment ends, my numbers are still wonky, I get reminded of my pending surgery next Tuesday and get checked out. I get to my car and start talking to what appears to be myself, but I know He was listening. I thanked Him for allowing me to be a bright light even though I feel my bulb is dim and flickering. I thanked Him for providing me with safe people for this period of my life, people that love God, love me and will always direct me back to Him…..and I thanked Him for going before me and making the crooked places straight (Isaiah 45:2); but if we could work on making those straight places smooth I’d be most appreciative